The Follies of Yesterday
by NatesMama
Summary: My Secret Cupid submission for Lesera128. Booth and Brennan find that looking for a nanny is a surreal experience.


_**A/N: So this is my entry for the Secret Cupid written especially for the lovely and talented Lesera128. Her prompts were really broad and made my job that much easier…and fun. I did fudge on her requested story elements, so I hope she forgives me for that. It just sort of happened that way. **_

_**So Happy Valentine's Day, Lesera…I hope this is what you were looking for.**_

_**~NM**_

Line break

The Follies of Yesterday

"I think this is a crazy idea, Bones."

"Well, I believe that, all things considered, it is one of our better ideas."

Booth chuckled. "We do come up with some doozies." He ignored the cute way her nose wrinkled, indicating an impending 'I don't know what that means' and held up his clipboard. "So, what? We're just going to interview everyone the nanny service sends until we find someone to take care of the baby?"

"Exactly." Brennan pulled an assortment of pens from her bag. As she set them, side by side, on the table in front of her, Booth ignored the warning bells going off in his head and leaned forward.

"Three different colored pens and five highlighters, Bones? Why? This isn't the Spanish Inquisition." Her glare did nothing to deter him as Booth picked up one brightly colored pen after the other. "I mean, yeah…this is important, finding the right nanny for our daughter, but really? A flow chart? Venn diagram?"

At that, Brennan's eyebrow shot up. "Yes, Bones…I googled it, alright?"

"Be that as it may…" Brennan pulled her stack of questionnaires out and collated them tidily. "This is very important. I want to make sure that our daughter is well taken care of while we are working or if we decide to go on one of your 'date nights'." She hid her smirk as he huffed in protest.

"_My_ date nights? Bones, you said you liked them!"

Letting her grin turn into a full-blown smile, she laughed. "I am teasing you. Of course I like them. I appreciate your efforts to give us some romantic time before the baby is born and I understand how important those evenings will be after she arrives."

Shaking his head in amazement at how far she had come since he'd met her, Booth looked over the list of requirements Brennan had sent to the nanny agency. Most of the list looked to be what they had discussed previously, as well as a few that only Temperance Brennan would think to ask for. "How are we ever going to find someone to fit all these criteria?"

"We will." Brennan replied confidently. "And if we don't, I will take the baby to work with me until we do."

"Bones…"

She rolled her eyes at the implied warning in his voice. "Booth, I will not be taking her onto the platform with me, she can stay in the Jeffersonian day care, as Michael does."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

Her raised eyebrow was enough to encourage him to move on. "So...who do we have first?"

Brennan looked at her worksheet. "Our first interview should be arriving…" A knock at the door cut her off. "…right about now."

Booth stood to answer the door, running a nervous hand through his hair. As he turned the knob, he peeked through the security hole, and not seeing anyone pulled the door open with a jerk. He looked up and down the hallway, confused, until a voice from below attracted his attention.

"Hey there, very tall and very handsome."

Standing before him with one hand on her hip and a sardonic smile on her face was Gidget Jones, the little woman with the big libido who ran a midget wrestling circuit Booth and Brennan had once had to investigate for murder. At a total loss for words, Booth simply moved aside and let their visitor enter, following her into the living room.

Brennan stood to greet their guest, her step faltering as she realized who Booth had led in. "Uh, I…Ms. Jones, is it?"

"You got it, Doc. Good memory." Gidget reached up and clasped Brennan's hand enthusiastically. "Mind if I sit?"

She cut her eyes briefly to Booth, who was still standing in the doorway, unsure of the etiquette when a former murder suspect strolls into your home uninvited. "Certainly. Can I get you anything? Water? Juice?"

"Nah, I'm good." Gidget made a show of pulling her skirt down over her knees and smiled at her hosts. "We should probably get down to business, right?"

"Business…" Booth said as he finally joined the women in the living room, questions in his voice. "Uh, what business are you here about…exactly?"

Their diminutive guest glanceded back and forth between the partners for a moment, confusion now marring her features. "The nanny job, of course." At the look Booth and Brennan exchanged, she continued. "You are still looking for a nanny, aren't you?"

"Yes, we are…I just, _we_ just didn't expect to be interviewing someone we were acquainted with from a past case. It was surprising." Brennan reached for her tea and took a sip. "I apologize for our misunderstanding."

"Eh, no problem" Gidget waved a hand in front of her face dismissively. "So, what are you looking for, exactly? Live-in? Day nanny? I can work with whatever you need."

Brennan tentatively picked up her list of questions, sparing Booth one more glance before beginning. "Well, to begin, we are looking for a day nanny. Someone to come to our home in the mornings, care for our child throughout the day, and then leave in the evenings when we return from work. We may also require an occasional extended evening so that we might engage in personal, one-on-one relationship interaction."

"Huh?" Gidget's brow furrowed as Booth rushed to explain.

"She means date nights."

"Ah." The woman smiled naughtily. "And you need someone to stay with the baby to get your freak on, yeah…I get it. That's not a problem for me, as long as you let me know ahead of time."

"Alright." Brennan checked her list again. "Oh! Do you have the paperwork from the nanny agency?"

"Nanny agency?" The genuine confusion in Gidget's question made Booth's hackles sit up and make themselves known.

"Yeah, the nanny agency. You know, the people who sent you?" At the woman's sheepish look, Booth leaned forward, getting in her personal space. "You were sent by the agency, weren't you?"

Looking everywhere but at Booth, she replied quietly. "Not exactly."

"Who did you hear about it from?" His voice was firm, but deadly quiet. Gidget had the fleeting thought that no matter what Dr. Brennan had said years prior, she _did_ like bad boys. Or, at least the bad boys who kept it well hidden.

"I read about the job on the Brennanite web site, okay? Geez…" She looked at Brennan, rolling her eyes in the process. "Is he always this forceful?"

With what Booth could only describe as a naughty grin, Brennan nodded. "He certainly can be."

"Nice." Gidget smiled approvingly.

"So…how in the hell did a fan site find out we were looking for a nanny? We contracted with one agency, and it was supposed to be anonymous." Booth grabbed his cell. "I am calling that woman who runs the place and chewing her a new one!"

"A new what, Booth?"

Gidget laughed nervously. "You are real literal, aren't you?" At Brennan's answering glare, she pressed her lips together tightly.

"Just…never mind, Bones." Booth slapped his phone shut. "She's out of the office until tomorrow."

Seeing her opportunity, Gidget jumped off the couch and headed for the door, walking backwards in order to keep Booth in her sights. "Look, I'm sorry. I just thought, you know…since I lost my wrestlers after Bryce died, times have been tough, you know? And…you're loaded. The job probably plays good, right? And I can, you know…take care of a baby, right? How hard can it be?"

Booth stood and shook his head. "She'll be bigger than you before she's a year old!"

"Hey! Not nice, G-man!" Gidget reached behind her for the door, nodding at Brennan. "Look, I'm sorry about this, I just thought…" Her apology was abruptly cut off by Brennan's gasp in reaction to the view behind Gidget in the hallway.

"What the hell is going on?" Booth growled, taking in the reason for Brennan's surprise.

Gidget smiled smugly. "Guess I wasn't the only one who had this idea." She saluted Booth with a laugh as she sailed out the door, weaving easily through the crowd in front of her on the way to the elevator. "Good luck, suckers!"

Brennan moved to stand behind Booth as they stared at the group in front of them. Pointing at the scruffy man in front, Booth laughed. "Noel! You have seriously got to be stoned right now if you think I would ever hire you to babysit my daughter!"

"Booth, man…" The erstwhile hippy spread his arms in supplication, releasing a cloud of stench that could only be described as a mix of body odor, Patchuli and veggie burritos into the air, causing everyone next to him to take three steps back. "Listen…your little one, man. She's gonna need guidance in the ways of the earth…you know, how to commune with nature, and look inward to discover her purpose….I could totally lead her down the right path, man."

"The only path you're going to be using is the path down the stairs there and back out to your skateboard, or bike or granola-mobile…whatever you're using to get around these days! Go!" Booth shooed the unkempt slacker away as Brennan took stock of the choices in front of her.

"Excuse me, but didn't you once date Dr. Sweets?" She pointed to the pretty brunette near the back of the crowd.

Stepping forward, the woman smiled. "I did date Lance, Dr. Brennan. April, remember?" Brennan nodded. "Anyway, after we broke up, I picked up one of your books and just became your biggest fan!" She ignored the grumblings around her of those who thought they could also lay claim to that title. "Anyway, I think I would be an excellent choice of caregiver for your little one!" She added, pointing to Brennan's expanding middle.

"And why is that?" Brennan asked, making April feel like she was taking a final exam in college again.

Shuffling her feet nervously, April continued. "Well, as you know, I work with tropical fish, and…"

"Stop right there." Brennan held her hand out. "If memory serves, you believe that fish are very much like humans."

April's eyes lit up. "That's right, I-"

"No." Without another word, Brennan turned and walked back into the apartment. "Booth, I trust you can handle this?"

"Sure thing, Bones." Booth pressed a quick kiss to her temple as she passed, and then turned back to face the increasingly vocal crowd. "Listen up, people! I'm only going to say this once!"

A voice from the middle of the group cut him off. "Oh, come on now, Seeley…you don't mean to include me in that, do you? I'm practically family!"

Booth rolled his eyes. "Cam's family, yeah. But not _my_ family, Felicia. Now hush." He took a deep breath. "Now, while we appreciate your…enthusiasm for wanting to help us take care of our child, we have chosen to go through a nanny agency, and that is what we are sticking with." He looked around again, seeing several familiar faces in the crowd of now-disappointed Brennan fans. "And Dr. Tepper, if I see you anywhere near my house again, I will have you arrested."

"Fine." The creepy coroner huffed as he headed for the stairs. "But your child would benefit from a more open-minded upbringing…"

With a sigh, Booth turned to go back inside when he stopped. "Just one question, though. Who posted the job on the Brennan website?"

There was a shuffling of feet and several averted eyes before finally a small, brown-haired mousy woman came forward. "Um, Agent Booth? You might not remember me, but you investigated the murder of my best friend, Muriel Mutsakis?" At Booth's confusion, she clarified. "She was killed by the owner of Date or Hate?"

"Oooh. Yeah." Booth nodded. "What do you know about all this?"

"Well…the member who posted the information about the job, including your address, goes by the name SSABooth0101 on the site. He said he became friends with one of the receptionists at the nanny service and she told him when Dr. Brennan hired them. He actually kind of sounded like a stalker." Genie looked terrified as a dark look crossed Booth's face. When he noticed, he tried to calm her.

"Hey, it's okay. Thank you for the information, really." He awkwardly patted her arm as she nodded and moved closer to the elevators, preparing to escape.

"And I am not a stalker!" A voice Booth had prayed he'd never have to hear again called out. Oliver Laurier stepped in front of Booth, his chin jutted out in defiance. The agent noticed, with some satisfaction, that he was visibly trembling despite his machismo. "I simply wanted to make sure that Dr. Brennan had someone who truly cared about her to watch over her daughter! She needs to be taken care of, watched…" Oliver's expression became dreamy. "No one cares more about Dr. Brennan than we do."

At that, Booth grabbed the smaller man's collar and pulled him close, getting face-to-face. When his hot breath hit Oliver's face, he bit back a smile as the overly-enthusiastic fan cringed. "Oliver. You couldn't be more wrong here. Make no mistake; no one cares more for Bones than I do. No one. I care so much about her that if anyone makes her unhappy? I get trigger-happy." He turned his head slightly and lowered his voice to a whisper. "And the fact that you're stalking her again is going to make her very, very unhappy. You get my meaning?"

Nodding violently, Laurier pulled away from Booth, stumbling backwards in the process. Seeing that his message was received, Booth rubbed his hands together and addressed the assembled group once again. "So…anyone else have anything else to contribute? No? Great. Then get the hell out of my building." With that, he turned on his heel and slammed the door in their faces.

Booth watched through the security keyhole to make sure everyone had left, and then turned to Brennan, who was sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of tea. He crossed the kitchen and stood behind her, rubbing her shoulders. "Hey. They're all gone. Man, that was crazy."

"I heard. I've already called the nanny agency back and fired them." She sighed. "Back to the painter's easel, I guess."

"The drawing board, babe." He kissed her head affectionately. "And good call on the nanny service, but…I had an idea."

"Yes?" Brennan looked up at him hopefully.

Booth smiled. "Let's just call your dad. He already volunteered, he'll be cheap, and he's available anytime."

"Really?" Brennan breathed. "Because I wasn't sure if you would approve. My father is a criminal, after all."

Booth turned her on her stool and pulled her closer into his embrace. "I know, but there are few people I would trust to keep our baby girl safe more than Max, and I know it would mean a lot to you, so…"

"Thank you, Booth." Brennan kissed his collarbone, breathing deeply.

"Anything for you, Bones. Whatever makes you happy. And, I don't even have to shoot anyone, so…bonus."

Laughing lightly, Brennan stood and grabbed his hand, leading him backwards towards their bedroom. "And I appreciate that, Booth. So now, I believe it is customary for me to reward you for your vigilance in protecting me and our progeny."

With a smile that lit up his face, Booth followed willingly. "Oh yeah…double bonus."


End file.
